As messengers of our culture, parents usually convey to their children that fear and anger are bad . . . among other negatives they point out. By teaching us that something is fundamentally wrong with us, our parents and culture carry forward the message of our unworthiness. As we internalize this view of our nature and become ensnared in it, we deepen the fear, anger and resentment that we are not good enough.
And we can spend decades of our life trying to be who they wanted us to be, trying to be good enough to reenter the Garden of Eden (and our parents approval). And all that time we try to avoid the pain of feeling unworthy.
So, we become “pleasers”. We try to hide our flaws while seeking their (parents and others we consider important to us) approval, and, at the same time, to compensate for what is “wrong with us”. We hold back and play it safe.
We withdraw from the experiences of our present moment, including those random feelings of joy, curiosity and happiness. We are not worthy.
Years or decades down the road, we choose to either focus on other peoples’ faults or we claw our way out of this “pleaser” dependency and into the small seps of creating our own happiness. And when we do, we realize it’s OK to fail. To be less than perfect.
We can get help if we need it.
Just trying again is just fine. We will learn that you can’t live a positive life with a negative mind. At some moment, we understand that we can free ourselves from our self-alienation and step into vulnerability. And then we grow stronger, more self-aware.
And then one day we learn the value of creating and delivering acts of kindness, to ourselves but also to others. As we step out of that old shade of fear and self-loathing, we change into a powerful, creative and giving human. Kindness. Try it. You’ll like it.
https://www.marketingcompanyaustintexas.com
#kindness #crazysmart #maptohiringsuccess #leadership #uncategorized