Hit the pause button for as much time as you can confidently budget for the next 10 days. Spend this time making a list of the things you might let go of:
- Too many commitments — can you let go of some to narrow your focus?
- Too many goals and aspirations
- Pleasing everyone, comparing yourself
- Worrying about everything
- Grudges, resentments, anger, past injuries
- Judging yourself or others
- Complaints
- Old negative habits
- Attachments to things that are not helping you
- Perfectionism
- Procrastination
- Hiding, playing a smaller game, doubting yourself
- Trying to control everything
So, which of these are affecting you?
Which can you let go of, so you can be free in the coming year?
The practice of letting go, once you’re clear on what you’re holding onto and what’s weighing you down … is simple but takes practice:
- Notice what you’re holding onto, and why. You can feel the attachment as a tightness in your body. Notice the tightness. Notice that you really want something to be a certain way, or wish it wasn’t the way it is. What is the benefit of holding onto this ideal, expectation, fantasy, wish? The benefit might be a feeling of comfort, control, protection. Needing things to be the way you want them to be.
- Realize that you don’t need that benefit. You are more powerful than you give yourself credit for. Believe it. You can survive and even thrive without the protection and comfort of the thing you’re holding onto. You don’t need it anymore!
- Let yourself feel the pain, anger, frustration, grief. If you’re holding onto something, it’s often because you haven’t fully allowed yourself to feel. If you’re feeling resentment towards someone, you probably haven’t let yourself fully feel anger at them — let yourself feel it fully in your body. Often it’s pain or grief that we have avoided feeling. Or a feeling of loss of control — deep uncertainty. Let yourself fully express and feel it!
- Accept things the way they are. The way things are … we often don’t want them to be the way they are. We don’t want this belly fat, this stressful situation, this person to be the way they are. But we can’t control it the world. If we accept that things are the way they are, we can become at peace with it. That doesn’t mean we don’t do anything — we can still work to help people and make situations better. But we don’t have to be in agony about it. Relax yourself a bit and let things be the way they are.
- Feel some gratitude for them being the way they are. This is about seeing something in the situation or person (or yourself) to be grateful for. Is the house a mess? At least you have a house. Is it cold and rainy outside? There is a beautiful world that you get to inhabit. Is your partner frustrating? At least you have someone who loves you in your life. (But, if they’re abusive, you can get out while still feeling gratitude for their love. Make sure you’re safe.) Do you have belly fat? It’s wonderful to have a body. Find a way to be grateful for things as they are.
- Relax into the reality of things and love it. This is really just a continuation of the previous two items but relax into how things really are. Let them be the way they are. Find a way to love reality just as it is. Love yourself and others, just as you are.
Just in case you’re not sure . . .
Others will tell you lots of ways you “need” to use the process. Just do what works for you. This is one way to let go, but you can play with it, bring curiosity to the letting go. The attachments don’t just go away, but they can slowly relax as you learn to trust that you don’t need them.
For a deeper dive go to https://www.zenhabits.net
#crazysmart #aligned #doitright #relax #journal #makeyourplan